Meh

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it.” John 1:5

Yesterday wasn’t a great day.

Nothing bad happened yesterday, but the weight of everything seemed heavy. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and stayed there all day. If I’d had a Patronus, it would have been Grumpy the dwarf.

Nothing bad happened. E-learning went really well. Work was good, although it hurt to officially announce that we would not be worshipping together at Grace on Easter. This came as a surprise to exactly no one, but it still made me sad. Life is good, really. Our family is healthy. We haven’t lost income. We are isolated together, not alone. The Grace community has rallied in amazing ways.

Still, yesterday wasn’t a great day.

I think it might have been the weather. It would be nice to see the sun again. It’s cold while my heart yearns for the warmth of spring. Then again, it’s not like there isn’t plenty to worry about. I was pleased to see the current administration take a more serious tone yesterday, but all this did was reinforce the point. Best possible outcomes now include only 100,000 Americans dying from this virus? Lord, have mercy.

It felt heavy yesterday. A few weeks ago I shared with some folks that this impending crisis made me feel like I was standing on the beach, watching an enormous tidal wave slowly roll in, but that I was unable to move. As if someone had glued my feet to the shore.

I still feel this way. The tidal wave feels closer.

Maybe you have days like this. Maybe your sadness, your difficulty, is compounded by a lack of health, or income, or physical connection. Maybe you’re living with depression or anxiety. Maybe this is hard. You don’t have to pretend that this isn’t difficult. Maybe today is a no good, very bad day. You know what? Christ is with you.

When I went to bed last night, I tried to give myself permission to remember that I’m going to have challenging days during this time. That’s okay. God is present in our sorrow, fear, and frustration. And today’s a new day. I’m going to start by having another cup of coffee and then leading chapel for our Grace School students and families (Facebook Live, check it out!). We’re going to sing the Hippo Song, and I don’t think I can have a bad day when I do that. Today will be better. I’ll trust tomorrow to God.

If today, or any future today, is difficult for you, if it all feels too heavy, reach out. To someone. To me, if you’d like. Let’s find a time to talk or Zoom or whatever. Pastoral care in a digital age!

We’ll get through this. Not everyday will be easy. That’s why God has blessed us with one another, to lift one another up into the free grace and love of Jesus.

I hope you have a good day. But don’t beat yourself up if you don’t. This is hard, and we don’t know how long it will last. We have each other, and God is with us.

Be well, friends. You are loved.

God of hope, thank you for your presence with us during this time. Comfort us in our sorrow. Give us hope in our fear. Remind us that joy comes with the morning, and that no bad day lasts forever. Keep us mindful of the great Easter dawn in which we will rise to live with you forever. Amen.